Wednesday, October 28, 2015

On the flipside...of the letter

Who even still writes letters?!
I really like ellipsis in case you've never noticed that. Yeah, so, simple comic, leadup to a Halloween thingamajic and I thought we really haven't seen ROBERT in a while. I write roberts name in all caps because I ALWAYS forget that his name is robert and not richard but what can I say? Personally I think he's much more of a Dick than a Bob.


Sunday, October 25, 2015

What's the deal with gluten free stuff?

My p button broke recently so I'll try writing this comment without using said button. So I went for a Seinfeldian hipster(goddamnit had to use p) joke today because I felt like it, it's nothing new but I always like to put little spins on things and...I can't do this, have you ever noticed how often you actually use the p button? I never did until friday when the friggin thing broke, GODDAMNIT.


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Storytime with grampa

Or just plain old asscancer that'll teach the little shit not to ask for bedtime stories.
I've been reading all these things about being a good person and doing what's good because it always comes back in some way, well, I wanted to say recently but I've heard them all my life and while they have some merit they have what I'd consider a mathematical inconsistency in them that has eluded me for the first part of my life and has made me the hardened terrible shell of a person you see before you today. If 90% of cases of you being nice lead to someone else being nice back, and usually to a lesser degree, then we can presume that 90% of cases where you're an asshole for your own gain lead to others being assholes for their gain. See the problem here? If people call you out on being an asshole then so be it, move on and try somewhere else but if people DON'T return your niceness you get fucked over so even if 90% of cases were ideal then the other 10% make the being an asshole thing MUCH more appealing and to be frank 90% was me being more than just hyperbolic.
All of those inspirational karma quotes are bullshit, don't be nice, PRETEND to be nice, get real good at not actually doing anything but leaving the impression that you did, THAT should be your lifegoal, if you want to be good then be good for goodness sake but fuck the karma thought because that shit is VERY stupid. If you're nice, chances are that's that, you're nice and the world stays a horrible void of monster looking people who's interior is filled with I lost track there...sorry.


Sunday, October 18, 2015


I feel like I've been here before.
I'm not entirely sure how I came up with this comic and why I felt it neccesary to make it part of UAC cannon but here it is, this is a thing now!


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Inception of insults

If I lived in America I'd never get convicted for a crime, I'd get the prosecutors convicted FOR me.
Anyone else watch the democratic debate last night? Was I really the only one who thought that Hillary didn't do very well, Sanders was amazing and Jim Webb did NOT get the recognition he deserved?
First off Hillary, her ENTIRE campaign is: I'm a woman! Well good for you but don't flaunt it like this, Obama was black too but he didn't always tell it to everyone, his slogan wasn't I'm black vote for me! unlike what I really now think Hillary's is. Sanders has the HUGE problem of being something that the americans THINK they don't want because they've conditioned to hate the words that are used for it even though the principles appeal to almost every single american.
Now my little rant about Jim Webb, did he say: I don't get enough time to talk! just one too many times? Yeah he did but he had a point, Hilary and Sanders had the overWHELMING majority of screentime which is just plain unfair and when Webb made he point he was decisive and seemed VERY well educated, his military experience seems like a big plus for a nation as eternally entangled in war as America is because let's face it, they are the current big brother of the world, sadly not just in the: I'll call my big brother! but also in the 1984 sense...But twitter exploded with bad things about Jim Webb because instead of listening to the candidates points the people judge preconceived notions that cannot be beaten! There will never be a true underdog story in the american presidential campaings because the media is completely rotten and in complete control of the flow of public opinion, which is frightening in times of Twitter, Facebook and general Internet shennanigans.


Sunday, October 11, 2015

Marketing campaigns with grammatical errors

I'm also working on a campaign for Photoshop called "U ugly and you should own it". The own it refers to Photoshop.
There currently is a marketing campaign on tv called ImPerfect, it's also a twitter hashtag and I fucking hate it AND don't remember what it even is a campaign for which hopefully shows my complete and utter disregard for these kinds of campaigns. I get the whole idea that it's a play on imperfections being perfect but the idea loses all of it's fucking meaning the moment other words with Im, in those meaning I am, come into play that are imperfections and don't use the same fucking logic completely negating the point of the whole thing!

If you advertise with a pun or a funny joke #ImIn but the second you use bad grammar to make me look twice #ImNotMotherfuckingEntertainedAndWillActivelyAvoidYourProduct.


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

There are so many better alternatives to Youporn

If you want a pretty vanilla pornsite better than youporn why not use pornhub as an example? They almost had a bigname Dota team for christ' sake!
I don't remember who it was but I was watching a comedy number recently and the comedian on stage started talking about porn so NATURALLY they mentioned watching porn online on youporn. I seriously question everyone's knowledge about the internet who cites youporn as their best example for a pornsite I mean yeah they were the first majorly famous site and yeah they got a big library but they're kind of the myspace of pornsites, everyone knows they exist and used to use it I guess but people nowadays moved on to sites that infringe on their privacy much more effectively and that link WAY nastier stuff.
Looking at you Facebook.
Anyways, the only way of me mentioning youporn in a comedy number is me making fun of people using youporn as a pornsite example, the amount of specified pornsites is ridiculous, why would you buy your milk at the grocery store two streets from your house when your neighbour is a cow and asks for the same sweet price of NOTHING.